What do you call a fake p …
What do you call a fake phone? A phoney.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a fake phone? A phoney.
Continue ReadingI challenged a black man to a rap battle, he said I could never beat him at his own game. So I took a stab at it.
Continue ReadingThis is the fifth time this week that I’ve skydived into a bakery. I’m on a roll.
Continue ReadingMy wife sent me shopping earlier, and told me to pick up the bear essentials. I didn’t even know that we had one, but I did as she asked, and picked up a large jar of honey.
Continue ReadingBubble wrap: 3% Protecting belongings. 97% Stress relief.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me the other day that he wanted to change career. I told him that’s completely unrealistic, it’s a military dictatorship run by a ruthless leader and has been for decades.
Continue ReadingMy wife tried to observe a minute’s silence this morning, but I couldn’t see it happening.
Continue ReadingSKY NEWS: Explosion at veterinary clinic. It’s been raining cats and dogs ever since.
Continue ReadingMy wife is looking very red from the sun this morning. I rolled it up and beat her half to death with it.
Continue ReadingI’m currently measuring the length of the equator in centimetres. I’m going to rule the world.
Continue ReadingPeople who are interested in flower pressing should take a leaf out of my book.
Continue ReadingWhen I told my friends I wanted to start a business selling small pieces of metal, they gave me some flak.
Continue ReadingElitism. It’s not for everybody.
Continue ReadingI don’t know why everybody is so concerned about the wind. It will all blow over soon.
Continue ReadingMy wife has gone off in the arms of another man. In hindsight, I probably should have put them in the freezer after stabbing them to death, rather than just leaving their bodies lying on the bed to fester.
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