I really looked forward t …
I really looked forward to some freshly squeezed orange today, but after 2 minutes of fumbling trying … I realised I just couldn’t concentrate.
Continue ReadingI really looked forward to some freshly squeezed orange today, but after 2 minutes of fumbling trying … I realised I just couldn’t concentrate.
Continue Reading12 injured in an explosion at a Sodium Chloride factory. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.
Continue ReadingI attended a fund-raising banquet for diabetic Kurdish refugees and was hugely disappointed not to find any Turkish Delight.
Continue ReadingWhy was Henry VIII beard always covered in blood? Tudor period.
Continue ReadingI find oxymorons can be very bittersweet.
Continue ReadingMy wife has been worried about the corn she found on her foot. Which makes me slightly suspicious about the footprint in my dinner last night.
Continue ReadingWeeds are starting to take over my garden. It’s a growing problem.
Continue ReadingMy wifes weight may have ballooned to 28 stone since she had kids, but I still loved her and she meant the world to me. Sadly she suffered a fatal heart attack last week while she was performing a reverse cowboy. I was crushed.
Continue ReadingI used to be a reconstructive plastic surgeon, but I just couldn’t face it any more.
Continue Reading“D’you want another beer?” “Just a wee one.” “Fosters, then?”
Continue ReadingI refused to eat my rabbit stew last night. There was a hare in it.
Continue ReadingDIY can be fun but only when it’s riveting.
Continue ReadingMy wife asked me “Would you say that I was likeable?” I said “No love, bulls are male. You’re like a cow.”
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend phoned today saying she was in town, looking at leather suites. I’m not so sure – they sound a bit chewy to me.
Continue ReadingLike my dad always use to say…. “Home is where the tart is!”
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