Category: wordplay

My mates a brilliant navigator but he’s got a terrible stutter. He’s called Tomtom.

“Legs” is the word of the day. Why not come back to my house and spread the word.

Roundabouts – Never straight forward, are they?

Sky News Coming Up : The Chilean Miners

Just finished writing a book about the history of the tortilla. That’s a wrap.

Muslims: Muhammed is everywhere. British: Muhammeds are everywhere.

In the early 50’s I was employed by a famous cartoon strip. The hours were great, but I worked for Peanuts.

During a blackout, everything stops working. White Out is a substance used to continue working.

I rang SeaWorld the other day, because I wanted some information. Before I got through to an employee, I got a tape telling me “This call may be recorded for training porpoises.”

Just bought my first house but every month the mortgage leaves me in the red. It’s a period property.

The one good thing about internet dating. You’re guaranteed to click with whoever you meet.

I club spades for diamonds ’til their hearts stop.

”I went to West Yorkshire to get some things for my dog” ”Leeds?” ”No, just a few new toys”

might splash out on a water bed

Sky News: Children Left In Limbo Over Care Decisions That’s not going to keep them safe being bent over like that, it’s practically an invitation!