Category: wordplay

I bought some slug pellets today, but they are useless. They won’t fit in my air rifle.

Joined a cult yesterday. It must be good, it has millions of followers. They even have a website and all. Funny name though. Twitter.

I bought a tennis racket today. It’s a C.D. of the Williams sisters grunting.

I knew that insects were considered a delicacy in some countries but I never appreciated it myself until I went to Bangkok and was served a Big Mac and flies.

There’s an art in farting.

“Can you throw me in some toilet paper?!”, shouted my wife from the bathroom, before I piled up a load of Andrex and chucked her in.

“Paint it Black” is a song with many dye mentions.

My daughter is being obsessively stalked by an engineer who works on rail and water bridges. Why cantilever alone?

The reason i’m feeling pensive is because i just took the ex out. Couldn’t afford a divorce.

My dad stumbled into the room, drunk as a fox, and said “17.6% volume” I said ‘what’re you on about?’ He said ‘its just the booze talking”

I decided to break up with that bird that works on the waltzers at the fair. Everything always had to revolve around her.

There is a thin line between being fit and being fat. That thin line being the letter “i”

I got my girlfriend the Connery and Dalton James Bond films for her birthday, but she wasn’t happy. I think she was expecting Moore.

Wednesday . The longest day of the week. Nine letters.

If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, should you get rid of the chainsaw?