Category: wordplay

I just had a hair cut. Might get all the other ones cut tomorrow.

The Pope’s recent claim that it isn’t hard being celibate has been recently discredited upon evidence that it isn’t exactly floppy either.

Just heard that a lad down my street had a failed suicide bid the other night, it’s always bad noose with him.

My wife just asked me for the remote. Stupid cow, she knows we don’t have a remote for the cooker

I was going to build a house out of straw… but then I bricked it.

I got into a fight on a ski slope. It started with a push and then things just snowballed.

There’s a big problem with morbid obesity

I’ve been awarded an honorary degree. I’m now the proud owner of 68 Fahrenheit.

I’ve just been learning about Newton’s law of universal gravitation and it really bought me back down to Earth.

A man dressed as a jelly baby brought me my news paper in hospital today. He must have been the delivery sweet.

BBC News: Libyan rebels ‘seize border post’ Royal Mail’s excuses just keep getting worse.

I’m making a film about fuels for different vehicles… Starring Van Diesel.

I caught my parrot drinking Dettol. I took him to the vet but he gave him a clean bill of health.

My wife is putting on black robes and a white collar… I think she’s getting revved up.

I used to live on the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor But that’s another storey.