Category: wordplay

SKY SPORTS: Alan Pardew is the new newcastle manager. A man who’s seen the sack more times than george michaels chin !

I got punched yesterday. It was the longest word on the scrabble board.

I often use big words to sound smart; I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

I recently made a complaint to the council, because of my neighbours “constant drilling”. According to the letter I received, its a standard procedure at the Army barracks.

I went to an Italian carpet fitters convention, last night. It was wall to wall Totti.

Alcohol kills nervous tissue and cells. But the calm ones remain!

I’ve been revising conceptual schemes so hard, my heads full of them.

Breaking news: Gwyneth Paltrow has Osteoporosis.

My friend in Greenpeace told me that humans need to try and preserve nature. So I pickled a baby panda.

In the maternity wigwam, there were 3 squaws in labour. The one on the left was lying on a horse skin, the one in the right was lying on a buffalo skin and the one in the middle was lying on a hippo skin. The one on the hippo skin gave birth to twins, the […]

I went to see one of those motivational speakers today… Well…I nearly did.

I’m well known for my incredible guile. My Chun Li’s not bad either

I’ve recently broke up with my poor, black girlfriend. She’ll ghettover it.

My wife choked to death while chewing on gum. Ironically, Airwaves got stuck in her throat.

When it comes to choosing which tv to buy I’m easily led.