Category: wordplay

Someone asked me for a bit of my kit-kat this morning. So I gave them the two fingers.

As a Christmas treat, I’m going to make some Bucks fizz. I’ve got some acid, now I’m off to the deer park…

Fabrice Muamba retired from football. He is reported to have said that his heart just wasn’t in the right place.

I got myself a lovely brand new pair of boots. My wife asked “Are they Clarks’ Shoes?” “No, they’re mine.”

Want to add insult to injury. Injuryinsult

My wife told me to stop judging people by how much money they have or she’s leaving me. That’s rich coming from her.

I had a trial for Man Utd but because of a red card in my first match they didn’t sign me. Fergie said I shouldn’t have given it to Giggs.

I always agree to meet my internet prey in the play ground. Roundabout, 7.

I don’t get Sickipedia jokes. My black slave gets them for me.

Being the gentleman that I am, I offered a seat to a lady on the bus today. The person sitting there wasn’t too happy though.

I’m the breadwinner. These Bakery raffles are getting boring now.

I turned down the chance to take free yoga lessons. I think I made the right choice, I won’t be kicking myself after a few weeks.

Well it looks like I’ll be up to my neck in paperwork again tonight. Although it’s not so bad sleeping rough when it’s the summer.

I’m starting my new job at Deed Poll next week. I’m hoping to make a name for myself.

I got an e-mail saying ‘At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!’ I thought, “That’s just spam.”