Category: wordplay

I was filming a movie and said ‘Scene 9, take 5’. Then everyone went to get lunch.

Some people think Gordon Brown shouldn’t run the country, But I think the exercise will do him good…

My Manager called me into his office and asked if I was going to the dance. I asked ‘ what dance? ‘ He said ‘ The Redun-dance ‘ My boss is not very sympathetic when it comes to laying off staff.

Apple are developing new technology that will be able to drive public transport and do everyday jobs, leaving thousands of people unemployed. The iMmigrant.

It’s great that we finally bought a fridge freezer. Now I can finally keep my fridge as cold as it should be.

I was sentenced to life imprisonment for owning my blackhead remover. Or, as the police put it, a bloodied Bowie Knife.

My inquisitive cat died. Curious.

I heard that there’s an exception to the rule “I before E except after C.” It’s weird isn’t it?

I’ve never understood decimals – I can’t see the point.

I don’t want to tar all Asians with the same brush. But that would save me a lot of money on brushes

Just started freelancing at a school for the partially deaf. I’m hoping to get a lot of repeat work

At my grandads birthday party I was telling him what I’d been up to when he started rolling his eyes. He has some disgusting party tricks.

I went into hospital today to have bits of my hand reattached after cutting them off in an accident. When I arrived in theatre I asked the surgeon how confident he was that he could restore it to its former state. He said “Its quite a tricky procedure…….. but I should be able to put […]

I can’t take my eyes off my head.

I had to give up my job as a miner. Everytime I was down the pit I felt light-headed.