Category: wordplay

This Sod guy must be pretty powerful.. Everybody knows about his law.

“I’m so sorry about the wait, sir.” said the waitress. “That’s all right, you don’t have to apologise for being so fat.” I replied

Greece are zeusless

I couldn’t sprint at school, I was more about patience and endurance. Which benefited me in the long run.

I went to an improve your spelling course at the college and on the door it said ‘PSUH’ I thought, “Hmm, that’s a bad sign.”

What do you call a gurning flower? Tulip.

They say there is strength in numbers… Try telling that to 93 norwegian teenagers

I was reading this guy’s paper on the bus today, he kept turning the page and I couldn’t keep up. Almost sprained my ankle running alongside it too.

“Italian ship crew are in denial” Let’s hope they can navigate that a little better.

Ever since I tried to clog a hole in my boat with my tongue, I’ve been thinking…

I got quite emotional at the garage today – it was a lovely service.

Whoever came up with the saying “as clear as a bell” obviously never had genital warts.

Looking forward to performing my contortionist act tomorrow night for the very first time. I can hardly contain myself.

I flashed a woman today, she pulled out and thanked me

I’ve just bought a lovely little old cottage. It’s got sanitary towels stuck to most of the walls, tampons hanging from the ceiling and blood on most of the carpets. I wanted one with a lot of period features.