Category: wordplay

I thought I’d kill some time today. It took me ages.

I tried to offer some comfort to the parents off the boy found in a tumble dryer. But they said he was soft enough.

I got a rim job off a girl last night and I actually really liked it. I must say my bike wheels have never looked so shiny

Which John Milton novel is about why he can’t play Monopoly any more? Pair o’ dice lost

I’m sick and tired of working in this BBQ chicken factory. It’s time for me to spread my wings.

My girlfriend left me because I never spent a penny on her. How was I to know she was into golden showers.

Two ducks in a pond are thinking about elementary particle physics. One turns to the other and says ‘Quark Quark’

The new African girl at my school is really spotty. Or as I like to call it – blackne.

I took my new girlfriend to an exhibition at the Tate, She pointed to a pot and said “That’s an Imported Mycenaean stirrup vase found in the acropolis of Ras Shamra” I thought “That’s an arty fact”

They say man who walk infront of car get tired! and man who walk behind car get exhausted!

Evian has gone into liquidation

My wife has always said that she can see a resemblance of my father in me. But when she came home early yesterday, she saw a little bit of me in our son.

Making good orange juice requires great concentration.

I suffer from terrible gas. The supply’s been intermittent ever since I moved in.

Well, I’m glad someone has finally brought up this Kony business… Him and his brother Hamsung have been getting away with selling knock-off TVs for years now…