Category: wordplay

I just had one of my sculptures put on display in a gallery. It’s a model of the pivot joint at the top of the human spine. Should turn a few heads.

I joined up to an online dating site, and wrote on my bio “slim, auburn hair and really interesting’. It sounds better than “skinny, ginger with a sleeping disorder”.

Just been watching NBA basketball on Sky. Those Americans can’t stop thinking about food. Halfway through the game I heard one of the coaches asking for a Time out.

I’ve just made an upside-down cake. But I dropped it on the floor by accident, so everything’s fine.

I just came back from a concert in Germany. Krautsurfers everywhere.

I flew in a Lear Jet once What a load of nonsense that was.

After hours of intensive cross examination I reached a conclusion. It was definitely a crucifix.

You know what really hacks me off? My axe fetish.

I’ve just finished painting my house. It’ll take pride of place on the fridge door.

I decided to write some jokes about my eyes. They started off bad, but then they got cornea.

I don’t know what people are angling at, but they keep saying I’m obtuse

My friend asked me to rewire his house. Now there’s an offer I can’t refuse.

My dentist treated me like a king today. He told me I should have a crown.

A friend of mine started a business making doughnuts. In the end he gave up on the hole thing.

The other day a mate of mine hit me with a chocolate bar. How dairy.