Category: wordplay

My Mum always used to say that men are scared of women with power. Took me years to figure out she meant electrical items.

I used to battle with drink & drugs, now we get along fine

I asked The Fonz actor Henry Winkler in a pub, who he thinks will win tonights boxing match. He looked at me, punched the jukebox, and said ‘Hayeee’.

Went to B&Q earlier to get wood, I just find DIY places really exciting.

What starts in E and ends in E but only contains one letter? An envelope.

I did a pilot for a TV show recently, at least he told me he was a pilot.

Dead bodies at crime scenes That’s where I draw the line

When there’s a big sale at a Garden centre it’s always the same. Hundreds of angry Gardeners bushing and shrubbing

Technology News: Gaze control to be introduced. And it’s about time too. Those queers were getting out of hand.

I watched a film about sellotape the other day. It will stick with me forever.

2 blokes in the pub having a conversation about growing potatoes… Talking chit again!

Can anybody tell me where Jeopardy is? Apparently there’s 1000s of jobs there.

I took a trip to see the South Downs earlier. They’re just as funny as the northern spastics.

I decided to raise money for my friend who is never sure of anything I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt

A fisher man has just crashed his boat into an iceberg sailing past Finland. I bet Helsinki.