Category: wordplay

If i hear one more pancake joke im gonna flip.

My Dad is a closet racist. He can’t stand the mahogany ones.

I’ve had enough of sitting down. I’m going to take a stand.

I told my wife I’d take a bullet for her, and she told me she’d take a thousand for me… So I sent her into an ammo shop with a swag bag and a balaclava.

A news reporter was interviewing a young girl who has suffered at the hands of bullying. “so, you tried to hang yourself in the school toilets” She must have been on the end of her tether.

My wife will be on the plane now. She isnt going anywhere,she is just taking 1/4 of an inch from the bottom of the door.

I read a book about Kurt Cobain. I say ‘read’, but I more or less just rifled through it.

Rag and bone men. Ironically, they get the right hump when you offer them just rags and bones.

I’ve never seen my daughter’s boyfriend take her anywhere. They always close the curtains and block the keyhole.

After one year of marriage to my wife ‘Eve’, I finally understand how her ex husband was arrested for Eavesdropping.

Latvians litter local landscape A litter nation

What is it with U-Bends? I can’t seem to get my head round them

My mate told me to try sticking a propellor and motor to my forehead the other day, and I have to say, I’m a huge fan.

I’m sick to death of terminal illnesses

I had an unhappy childhood, in which I was routinely beaten by my parents. Although as I got older, I got better at chess.