Category: wordplay

I’m not a complete idiot, you know. I had my appendix removed.

My daughter won’t stop drawing pictures of clouds and suns on her belly. I’m sick of feeling under the weather.

After spending years on the dole…. I don’t see the benefits going back to work.

What is Bruce Lee’s favourite drink? Wa-tah!

“Iraq rejects calls for vote recount” BBC NEWS I guess we just couldn’t get through to them.

Me and my brother were both born with no hands. I know exactly how he feels.

So a gang has been formed for Dyslexic Dwarfs. Apparently they’re a bit short on numbers.

I went and got my colon checked yesterday. It turned out it was an apostrophe.

I hate Anti-climactic people……. actually… nevermind.

My wife left me last week. I’ve never been so depressed. There hasn’t been anybody to do the ironing.

Yahoo News: “Egyptians vote in run-off” That’ll be even funnier than when people walk like an Egyptian.

I will now explain how to steal music. Feel free to take notes.

A bloke sees a cat in the window of a pet shop with a sign saying ‘Cats from Holland for sale’ so he goes in and says, “How Dutch is that moggy in the window?”

NEWS: Osama Bin Laden killed in fire-fight. If only he’d been trained on how to use an extinguisher correctly.

I was busy making fun of the leper next door when suddenly he started giving me lip. His upper lip to be precise.