Category: wordplay

I just had a dream that I was suffering from insomnia, I think.

My wife insists that I make the bed every morning. I don’t mind, but I do wonder who keeps dismantling it every night.

A bloke driving a horse and cart fired a musket ball through my windscreen. To be fair, i was on a duel carriage way.

In Yorkshire we call a spade, a spade. Down in that thar London they use all fancy words for ’em. Like Autistic.

If you receive an e-mail trying to sell you a device which removes the little bits from your orange juice, ignore it. It’s pulp fiction.

Religion deifies the laws of physics.

I spiked my mother-in-laws drink last night. She shouldn’t have been sitting so close to the volleyball court.

I bought a book called “The A-Z of Tribute Bands”, I read it from cover to cover

Time travel is going to have been confusing.

My mate has a new fridge which he thinks is pretty cool. Well I’ve got a new freezer that I think is even cooler.

I was locked in a house of cards earlier. It was solitaire confinement.

I met a girl last night and took her back to my house. There I added it to my collection of spines.

I’ll tell you a couple of things that make me jump. My legs.

If the UK and Ireland went into heavy double-dip recession, would we have ‘a-wrecked-isle dysfunction’?

The wife and I came to blows the other night over angry dolphins. I think we were talking about cross porpoises.