Category: wordplay

Upon hearing the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death, my nan said: “What that man did to New York was really wicked.” I wholeheartedly agree with what Nan said, but I really don’t think it sounds right for a woman of her advanced years to be using ’80s slang.

“Helping young women to fight and struggle with their problems” John Smith, Therapist.

Staff evacuated the Ann Summers shop in Glasgow yesterday after a bomb hoax. Probably the work of basque terrorists.

This morning I got my deoderant mixed up with the bugspray. No flies on me.

A policeman pulled me over last night. I hate losing at tug of war.

There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who get binary and those who don’t.

I won’t be buying another razor from Liverpool. The one I’ve got nicks everything.

I didn’t know the answer to “What does a void consist of?” Ah well, no matter.

100 Black dwarfs doing a marathon. Now that would be a funny race.

“That’s it! Three strikes, and you’re out.” My bowling team hates overachievers.

I’m looking for that Miss right. Because my Miss left.

My wife left me yesterday due to my schizophrenia. I suppose I’ve only myself to blame.

Chav Bingo.. You’ve gotta be init to win it.

People who have a problem with tall people need to grow up

I really should write down all the things I have to do. Can’t be bothered to find a pen and paper. I feel so listless.