Category: wordplay

I am now banned from my local shopping centre. Apparently a relief car park is not exactly what it says it is.

I’m in a band called AA. We’re a support group.

“I’m not a Racist. Some of my best friend is Black”, claimed the Zebra.

This secret desire I have to be a cannibal is really eating away at me inside.

I was in line waiting to pay for my petrol and the guy at the front said, “Pump one.” Which got me thinking: “I wonder if the Queen ever says that to Prince Philip?”

My server crashed due to the death of Amy Winehouse. My wife heard the news on the car radio before hitting a tree.

I stole some paint earlier and when I got home I tipped it onto the floor and laid in it. Thought I’d better cover my back.

My friend Ray has this rare cyst that can only occur on members of the Caucasian race. It’s Ray’s cyst.

I told some homeless bloke he seriously needed to take a shower. He just gave me a dirty look.

My Mum is a top international finance lawyer. That’s why she’s gone to Iceland

Anyone else find it ironic that Heather Mills married a legend?

When I was a kid people used to cover me in cream and put a cherry on my head, it was tough being brought up in the gateau.

school kids hurt in ventilation collapse ( should have duct )

“Whatever you do, don’t lose your cool. I lost my cool once, and it killed my career.” – LL J

When I was growing up I was always told your measured on your success. Which is why I impersonate rulers