Category: wordplay

I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads.

How subtle is the b in subtle?

eBay: A crate of second hand Oranges, was 90 pence, now 10 pence. They must have been rejuiced.

I wasn’t sure if holding a fund raiser for people who can’t make decisions in life was the right thing to do, but I gave them the Benefit Of The Doubt

Just started dating a comedian, Can’t see it lasting very long, She’s started being funny.

I’ve bought two 100m tickets for the 2012 Olympics. You should have seen the size of the envelope they came in.

I might see if there are any Helium jokes out there for a bit of light humour before bed

My Ex-girlfriend wasn’t much of a fighter. But, man, you should have seen her box!

Yahoo News:’Head of IMF arrested’ What about the rest of his body?

What’s round and sounds like a trumpet? a crumpet.

When I think about it I realise that I just can’t be bothered to be apathetic anymore.

We dusted down the old tennis table the other day and the kids challenged me and the mother-in-law to a doubles game. They’ll never hear the last of it .. We surprisingly won considering I was playing with an old bat.

At first I ignored my wife’s pleas for me to quit smoking for the forty days preceding Easter. Then I relented.

This hot chick walked up to me in the street earlier. with a cheeky wink she whispered in my ear ‘I’m so wet, help me’ ‘Here’s an umbrella’ i replied and walked off.

I discovered a clowns arm on the beach today. I found this humerus.