Category: wordplay

I found out I was a convict in my past life. I was shocked.

I spent all morning talking to a fellow member of the Xhosa tribe. We just clicked.

Me and my girlfriend are going to try 69. Honey Chili Chicken with Almonds served with a portion of Fried Rice.

My mate came up with another meaning for the word ‘excellent’ It was very good.

Know what’s odd? About every other number.

Killing geese to make pillows makes me feel down.

I don’t like blind jokes. I don’t see what’s so funny.

What’s the similarity between a girlfriend and an Xbox? If you cheat on them, you don’t get an achievement.

Tried deepthroating this dead guy earlier and I couldn’t do it. I found the whole thing just too hard to swallow.

My wife said that I need help with my drinking. She obviously hasn’t observed me properly – I’m pretty good at it.

On the one hand, I want to lose weight. But on the other hand, doughnut.

I’ve just been dumped by my girlfriend on facebook. The writing’s on the wall.

When I was young, my mum always used to hit me with the telephone. I was always on the receiving end…..

I can’t find a synonym for synonym. I did find an antonym for it, though.

So you’re trying to convince me that I’ve turned into a non-metallic element? I wasn’t boron yesterday