Category: wordplay

I wish I could see Muslim women’s necks. Sorry, my English is not good. What I mean to say is, I wish I could saw Muslim women’s necks.

“These flowers are dead.” “For now, yes.” “What do you mean, for now?” “They’re reincarnations.”

Does anyone else think I have a clone, or is it just me?

There’s no way I would date a girl that worked at an Airport. Way too much baggage.

I said to my mate, “I had a dream last night and God showed me how to get to Heaven.” “Seriously?” he asked. I said “Yeah, straight up.”

Coronation Streets Betty Driver Dies age 91… Her 3 brothers Racing, Screw and Pile are said to be devastated.

My babysitter said my kids are spoiled. Now I need to find a new place to hide the bodies.

What’s the difference between Sony and Kony? Kony still has Eric’s son.

I’m a magician who does tricks on the streets to earn a living. A young woman around 18 came up to me and said “Blow my mind”. Funny how you can become a rapist in just a matter of seconds.

As a child I always wanted to grow up to be a waiter. But im far too impatient.

My wife has rather annoyingly replaced all the lightbulbs in the house with energy efficient ones. I’ll never see her in the same light again.

I see that homeless people are becoming a bigger and bigger topic in election debates. You could say that they’re becoming a “Big Issue”.

I don’t really believe in scepticism.

I hate left-handed scissors. Something about them just isn’t right.

I came home from work and my wife was waiting with my credit card bill. She asked me, “Why is there a 600 charge to the strip club?” I calmly replied, “I got jacked” She got extremely concern then and asked me “Oh my god! Really?” I said, “Yeah, they tend to charge extra for […]