Category: wordplay

Six foot of soil? Over my dead body!

Was skidding all over the place today….. Should’ve probably wiped more than once!

These days forcing a man to stand outside in the cold for hours on end holding a huge wooden stick upright is considered to be a cruel and unusual punishment. But back in Roman times it was standard practice.

I have a fantastic memory. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.

I was visiting a brewery and got trapped in the wheat toasting room. I was absolutely torrified!

I hate it when people use big words to make themselves sound more intelligent, I’m just of the persuasion it’s exorbitantly egregious.

I always give waiters great tips after dinner. I tell them to try studying and find a proper job.

Figures show that girls are getting fatter.

SKY NEWS: Supernova Star Burst ‘Could Wipe Out Earth’. There was never this sort of problem when they were called Opal Fruits.

Isn’t a white baby on the black market a bit of a grey area?

I never realised there was guy from Newcastle in the Spain team. In fact that Geordie Alba was very impressive.

I’ve been called a “sound system”, a “ghetto blaster” and a “tape deck”….I cant help but think Im being stereotyped!

My neighbours son is a really bad tempered bicycle thief. He’s always going off on one.

I hate fly paper. It looks tacky.

I think I have a fetish for books. Every time I think about reading, I always have to touch my shelf.