Category: wordplay

I once took over the earth with merely a horse chestnut tree. I conkered the world!

I like modelling clothes as much as the Next man.

I have erection problems…I just can’t get it up. My wife is very understanding though. Maybe I’m just not cut out for camping.

I asked my girlfriend if she was up for doing some role play. “Okay, I’m so excited, this is our first time! Who do you wanna be?” “Well, I like being the Orc, I dont like being an Elf” I said as I loaded up Elder Scrolls.

My wife has a great booty. She’s a pirate.

My girlfriend was in shock when I told her that I buried her cat in quick drying cement. It still hasn’t sunk in.

Saw a really annoyed guy yesterday, muttering things like, “Femur? No. Radius? No. Mandible?” I thought, “Must have a bone to pick”

Someone’s set my snooze to come on every 30 seconds. I’ll never get back to sleep at this rate.

I keep getting electrocuted by an industrial 415 volt charge. I suppose it must be a phase I’m going through.

‘You are what you eat.’ I hope not, I’ve just ordered an Indian.

I met a smelly goose the other day. It honked.

The French love to eat rabbits. Yeah, they’re lapin ’em up.

My friend was killed by a lion. I told him they contain nuts but he didn’t believe me.

My wife’s a little cranky tonight. It’s Fan-Dabi-Dozi when she’s dressed in her school uniform.

There’s nothing quite like an anatomy teacher with a great sense of humor.