Category: wordplay

Me and my brother wore the same shirt to town today. We both found it very difficult trying to walk.

Contacting dead astronauts is easy. It’s not Rocket Seance.

I was feeling confident last night so went out into town for a couple. Threesomes are great.

I just ordered a new font. It’s coming by Courier.

My sister named her baby yesterday. Stupid name if you ask me.

I was reading this book on the anatomy of a pig. It was pretty standard, but I got to the end and found there to be a twist in the tale.

My local pub has decided it will donate all the money raised from its special ‘Indian Set Meal’ to help the starving people of India. It consists of a Chicken Bury Auntie, a Nan Dead and a Papa Gone.

My wife couldn’t come to terms with the death of her poodle and asked me to show some sympathy. I thought,”Stuff it.”

My friend just showed me a picture of his new girlfriend, who he says is from Eastern Europe. I looked at the picture and said ‘she looks nothing like a frog.’ ‘What are you on about?’ He said. ‘I told you she’s a Tad-Polish.’

I love it when celebrities act like their name suggests, such as Lady Gaga or Princess Di.

Is crazy paving really all it’s cracked up to be?

My mates and I were deciding which one of us was going to steal New York’s tallest statue. Anyone could have done it but in the end I took the Liberty.

I was asked by my mate Tim if I would be the best man for his wedding to a Chinese girl. Apparently, referring to the couple as Tim-Tong is enough to get me kicked out of the church.

Invisible flooring – I’m not sure where I stand on that

Hungry astronomers don’t like galaxies, they prefer something that’s a little meteor.