Category: wordplay

By switching off a 60w lightbulb for 6 hours you will have saved enough energy to light a 60w lightbulb for 6 hours.

Cannibal Subway: Eat Flesh.

I used a cheese grater today. To my disappointment, it did not enhance the cheese in any way, shape or form.

I’m extremely proud of my essay about the wind. But it’s only a draft.

Does anyone else get a semi when they can’t afford a detached?

I’ve just been to a monkey rescue center called ‘Camp Chimp’. They were all panzees.

BBC News : ‘Mystery over flat victim’s death’ No mystery… Probably a steam-roller.

Did you hear about the new Iranian President? His story’s amazing, he grew up with just his dad, and they never had enough food apparently. Yeah, his name’s Wheresmadinnerdad.

I went to the doctor and told him I’m addicted to Train Spotting. He told me I was Anoraksic.

My mate’s constantly bragging about being a brilliant mechanic. He’s always talking the torque.

My football team was a player short, so I said I’d bring my mate Leroy.One lad said, “Is he the one with mixed race parents?” When I nodded, he asked, “So he’s not a full black then?” I said, “No. He’s a centre half.”

The food at Nando’s is fowl.

My mum threatened to stab me in the eye with a needle yesterday. I failed to see the point in this.

I was watching the film ‘Mulholland Drive’ the other day, but I just couldn’t work out what was going on. Probably because there were so many pot holes.

I Met a guy at the airport who said he was a child psychologist. I said “quit living in the past, dude”. “You’re like 45 now!”