Category: wordplay

If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.

I find it quite hard talking to Children. But I’ve noticed if I shift my leg to the side they don’t notice

The new girl at work is a real brown nose. I saw her in Lesbian Rimmers 11 last month.

What do you get if you cross the Italian Mafia and the IRA? Nowhere to eat or drink in New York.

I have been munching on little bits of metal for the last few weeks. Not one of my five but its a staple diet.

I always carry a piece of paper on how to kill a man I like to keep a mental note.

I asked my mum what she had bought me for my birthday? She said, “I’ve bought you an Apple Mac.” Most people would be over the moon with hearing this, I’m not ’cause… My name is Mac.

Extra Extra Buy one get one free on gum.

I was in the queue for Slimming World for 3 hours yesterday before giving up and going home. I couldn’t stand the weight.

“Winehouse DEAD”. Unfortunately, it’s only Threshers going into administration.

Just had a football match with Steven Hawking, hes rubbish in goal, but hes a good dribbler.

The government finally plans to make a memorial for the Boxing Day Tsunami. I couldn’t help but feel a memorial for the victims would be more appropriate.

Insanity does not run through my family. Rather, it takes a stroll through, getting to know everyone personally.

The wife’s getting huge on a diet consisting only of Greek cheese. She’s just getting feta and feta.

I asked the foreign concierge if he had any rooms avaiable. He just looked at me with a vacant expression.