I could do with a fizzy d …
I could do with a fizzy drink. I’ve been drinking lemonade for 5 days flat.
Continue ReadingI could do with a fizzy drink. I’ve been drinking lemonade for 5 days flat.
Continue ReadingI invented the upside down house. It’s now a top cellar.
Continue ReadingI had an appointment at the opticians today, but I was too busy to make it on time. So I rang up and told the doctor I couldn’t see him.
Continue ReadingI just got fired from my job, where i disposed of dangerous materials from building sites. I don’t know why though? I done Asbestos i could!
Continue ReadingI always go to the harbour and start sailing on other people boats. I struggle with the concept of Own a Ship.
Continue ReadingA secret report detailing a vegetable ‘superfood’ has been obtained from No 10. Opposition claim it’s a government leek.
Continue ReadingPeople who have Bluetooth handsets need a clip round the ear.
Continue ReadingIn Tottenham, the flaming bus was late again!
Continue ReadingAndy Murray could get a job in my local KFC. They can’t serve correctly either.
Continue ReadingCorporal punishment. It’s back with a vengeance!
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a tightwad Wookiee? Jewbacca
Continue ReadingThere are so many Bernard Matthews jokes about already. Talk about hopping on the bandwagon. I bet he’s twizzling in his grave!
Continue ReadingOne of my reindeer is very unwell. I’m relieved that scientists say they may have found a cure for Prancer.
Continue ReadingMy wife hit the headlines recently. She crashed into a newspaper billboard.
Continue ReadingA group of scientists have predicted that a tropical storm is about to strike Israel. They have decided to call it “Cyclon B”.
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