Category: books

Our new librarian is very polite. I think she is Italian. I’ve just taken a book back that was months overdue but, rather than charging me, she just said, “That’s-a-fine.” So I thanked her and walked out.

So, Sickipedia have released an American Version of their Sick Joke book. Considering the amount of jokes directed at them, I wouldn’t think that they’d raise funds for a new server. Then again, what do I know, i’m American.

I’ve just finished writing a book. It’s a romantic novel and it has all the typical cliches of the genre. You know the type, guy meets girl, girl hates guy, but they still end up sleeping together in the end. It’s called The Rapist

A friend told me “50 Shades of Grey is a great way to silence your wife”. So i bought a copy and beat her to death with it………….

I’ve just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It started off badly but, by the end, I really liked it.

Jim says, ”My wife lets me subscribe to National Geographic and Playboy for the same reason.” Steve says, ”Why’s that?” Jim says, ”Because with both magazines, I get to see places I’ll never get to visit.”

I dont know where I would be without maps!

50 shades of Grey. The contents of Elton Johns Wig Drawer.

Stieg Larsson, the author of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo is dead so, tragically, we will never know whether the the tattoo was of Duncan, James, Deborah, Peter or Theo.

Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.

My problem is it takes me five weeks to read the book of the month.

My Shadow and I. An autobiography of the life and times of a ginger, and his life-long and only friend.

Most ’50 Shades Of Grey’ jokes on record. I blame a wet July.

My wife criticizes everything I do, so I bought the book to kill a mockingbird. Few tips on racism but nothing on how to dispose of a spouse.

I’ve nearly finished writing my book about finding the perfect way to stab someone. All it needs is a surprise twist at the end.