I was in our local librar …
I was in our local library earlier today, when a small, round root vegetable came in and asked the librarian if she had a book about suicide. I though “That’s a turnip for the books”
Continue ReadingI was in our local library earlier today, when a small, round root vegetable came in and asked the librarian if she had a book about suicide. I though “That’s a turnip for the books”
Continue ReadingThis book i’m reading has an incredible battery life.
Continue ReadingI’ve just read the dictionary. Turns out the Zebra did it.
Continue ReadingMy brother has just set fire to one of my Mr Men books. No more Mr Nice Guy.
Continue ReadingIt’s 2010……… hmmm 20 is twice 10, that must mean something…. maybe Dan Brown could write a book about it?
Continue ReadingHow do you get a word included in the Oxford English Dictionary? Simples.
Continue ReadingShakespeare is credited with the invention of hundreds of new words, which just goes to show that monkeys make terrible proofreaders.
Continue ReadingI’ve just finished Great Expectations and I have to say I was a little disappointed.
Continue ReadingI was telling my mate that the wife made me tie her up and abuse her. “Did she read 50 Shades Of Grey, then?” he asked. “No,” I said, “she forgot to get me a beer when I got home from work.”
Continue ReadingMy wife’s been reading the dictionary every night for a month. I think she’s up to something.
Continue ReadingI’ve just published a book on DIY. It’s blank and comes with a free pen.
Continue ReadingEver notice how Voldemort has a diary, necklace, ring, tiara and an obsession with a famous teenage boy? No one but me finds this awkward, apparently.
Continue ReadingAs the old man stood in front of him in his robes clutching his wand…. Harry Potter regretted transferring to catholic school
Continue ReadingI was on the bus, then noticed a man crying over a book. I said to him, “It’s OK, my son can’t read either.”
Continue ReadingSpending years studying a book, looking over again and again the vast complex lines and constantly looking for the messages and meanings, getting to know and love the characters and locations presented to you. Only to discover he’s behind the elephant.
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