Category: animals/insects

What is a Dog? 1) Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. 2) They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room. 3) They can look dumb and lovable all at the same […]

“Those battery chicken farms are so sick, I don’t understand why we do it, who on earth would want to live in cramped conditions with millions of slow moving overweight chickens?” er, a fox?

I love going out and pulling birds. The bloke in the pet shop hates me though.

I went to one of those violent bull fights in Spain, and I can honestly say I’ve never been so appalled in my life. My seat cost a fortune and was so far back I could barely see the cows get stabbed.

Isn’t an out-of-date egg really just a chicken?

“That zebra you sold me is fake!” Shouted the owner of the zoo. “Well spotted.” I admitted.

The small American dart frog uses bright colours to warn predators that it’s packing something that gives it an unfair advantage in a fight. Sort of like people wearing Henley’s clothes or a Millwall scarf.

My mate says that he’s a rabbit carver, not a rabbit butcher. Personally, I think he’s just splitting hares.

I’ve just seen this headline : ‘Man Kills Hamster In Microwave’. Bing.

I just received a letter from the RSPCA regarding my mistreatment of animals. I would respond, but I can’t find my quill.

“Either-or,” said the confused donkey.

My mate was hosting a chicken football tournament on his farm and he asked me along to spectate I didn’t stay long though. The matches were rubbish. It was just fowl after fowl

The BBC is bringing out a new series of One Man and His Dog but it’s only gonna be for the Welsh viewers… It’s called “One Man and His Pimp.”

As I jumped onto the back of the motorbike, it made a loud roaring noise and shot off down the street. Everyone was staring open-mouthed and I could just tell they were all thinking how cool I looked in my leathers. But then I lost control and was headed right for a pedestrian. The bike […]

It’s so hot I just saw a bird pick up a worm with an oven glove!!