I asked for chicken drumm …
I asked for chicken drummers, and I was given pieces of chicken in breadcrumbs? Where are the feathery musicians I requested?
Continue ReadingI asked for chicken drummers, and I was given pieces of chicken in breadcrumbs? Where are the feathery musicians I requested?
Continue ReadingAs a farmer, I really hate people who steal my animals. They really get my goat.
Continue ReadingJust bought a new pair of boxer shorts. I spoil that dog something rotten.
Continue ReadingI’ve been doing lots of work on the effects of smoking on monkeys The sole conclusion I’ve drawn is that they look cooler than the none smoking monkeys.
Continue ReadingI bought some dog biscuits yesterday. Labrador flavour.
Continue ReadingZebras are serious animals. They’re very black and white about things.
Continue ReadingI bought my dog a new ‘anti-ageing’ dog lead. He’s got a new leash of life.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the fastest animal in the world? A hamster if you throw it hard enough!
Continue ReadingScared of spiders? Do what I do.. Imagine them all naked
Continue ReadingI dreamt I was being eaten by a cat last night. Must have been Freddy Cougar
Continue ReadingDogs Trust never put a healthy dog down. so what do they do if they’ve got a cold?
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an adolescent rabbit? A Pubic Hare
Continue ReadingI just hoovered up three flies, then spilled some protein powder a minute later and hoovered THAT up. This could end badly.
Continue ReadingWhere do cows buy their clothes? A Cattle Logue
Continue ReadingHow can you tell if an elephant has been sleeping in your bed?! The sheets are wrinkled and the bed smells of peanuts! How can you tell if a black man has been sleeping in your bed?! Your bedroom window is smashed and your valuables are missing,
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