Category: animals/insects

What do you call 50 rabbits in a row walking backwards? A receding hare line.

I’ve heard that being eaten by a crocodile is just like falling asleep. In a blender.

What do you call a spider with no legs? A currant.

did you hear about the blind skunk ….. it fell in love with a fart

I’ve just finished cleaning out my daughters budgerigar because she didn’t want to do it. Well, times are hard and we can’t afford chicken.

Turned on my SatNav and it said ‘Bear Left’ and there was the zoo. How good is that?

I think it’s unexceptable to mix races. You never see Horses and Dogs racing in one race do you.

Dog: You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, and you care for my every need. You must be a God! Cat: You pet me, you feed me, you shelter me, and you care for my every need. I must be a God.

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. “How do I get him to sing?” The young man asked, excitedly. “Simply hold […]

A Baptist missionary in Africa was just walking when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. “Oh Lord,” prayed the missionary, “Grant in thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion.” In the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: “Oh Lord,” he prayed, […]

I’m thinking of hiring a S.W.A.T team to fix my fly problem.

A lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To laugh at Tiger Woods.

Definition of the use for a Wok. What you fwo at a Wabbit when you don’t have a Wifle.

I’m a retired boxer and I’m thinking of taking on golf as a hobby. Although many believe I should go into acting because apparently I’m the only dog they know that can talk.