It looks like all those N …
It looks like all those News of the World readers are going to have to get with The Times.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I always tell my wife to …
I always tell my wife to wear at least 10 pairs of knickers when going out. She’s been well briefed.
Continue ReadingI can’t make my mind up i …
I can’t make my mind up if my imaginary girlfriend is keeping our baby or having an abortion.
Continue ReadingI got chucked off the set …
I got chucked off the set of Dragons Den yesterday. It would appear a real life version of the popular computer game “Minesweeper” is more dangerous then first thought.
Continue ReadingWhat separates us from th …
What separates us from the animals??…. Fences
Continue ReadingBe the life of the party …
Be the life of the party by murdering all the other guests.
Continue ReadingWhat do Madeleine McCann …
What do Madeleine McCann and Everton’s defence have in common? They both went missing in Portugal.
Continue ReadingI tried to find out exact …
I tried to find out exactly how loud my dog’s bark was. But I could only get a ruff estimate.
Continue ReadingYum, microwaved corned be …
Yum, microwaved corned beef hash… instructions say “cook on full power for 7 mins… slightly agitate tray then cook for a further 4″… I can understand cooking it on full power but i dont see how me opening the microwave to shout obscenities at it helps the cooking process
Continue ReadingA bloke just knocked on m …
A bloke just knocked on my door and said, “Hi, I thought I’d let you know that you’ve left your lights on”. I said, “Yeah I know mate, I can’t see my way around the house otherwise”.
Continue ReadingAt a wedding yesterday, I …
At a wedding yesterday, I was reminded of a party I went to as a child… That was an awful costume…
Continue ReadingHusband Ratings. -You buy …
Husband Ratings. -You buy her a new car. +5 It’s a pick-up truck. -5 With the license plate: GR8 LAY -10 -You cook her a meal. +2 It’s out of a packet. -1 It’s still in the packet when you serve it. -10 You buy her extra-light panty liners with wings. +3 In the snow. […]
Continue ReadingI bought a rubber stamp t …
I bought a rubber stamp today. Now I just need to decide where to send my rubber.
Continue ReadingWife was intrigued When s …
Wife was intrigued When she opened up her Birthday Present today. She Asked For Something with diamonds. I got her a pack of Playing cards. You should have seen the look on her face when i told her they were fit for royalty.
Continue ReadingImagine a female werewolf …
Imagine a female werewolf, once a month she’d turn into a vicious man-eating monster in a blind rage. And then another time in the month she’d turn into a wolf.
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