I find it quite ironic th …
I find it quite ironic that Bernard Matthews died just before christmas.. I guess the turkeys had their revenge
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was sat on the bus earl …
I was sat on the bus earlier. As usual, there was a group of teenagers playing loud music through their phones, swearing in front of children and making a general nuisance of themselves. Luckily, this was my stop and I got off. However, I dread to think what I would have ended up doing had […]
Continue ReadingI think Volvic represents …
I think Volvic represents excellent value for money. No matter how many times I refill my empty bottle from the tap, it always tastes just like Volvic.
Continue ReadingIt’s really difficult fin …
It’s really difficult finding things to do with the kids during the holidays. My eldest wanted to go and see Cars and the youngest wanted to go to the park. We’ve had to compromise, so we’re in Asda’s carpark.
Continue ReadingI always go to the harbou …
I always go to the harbour and start sailing on other people boats. I struggle with the concept of Own a Ship.
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS: Dead man found …
BBC NEWS: Dead man found by police station. Must have been one clever police station!
Continue ReadingI sometimes think of myse …
I sometimes think of myself as being like the canary down the mine. The judge, however, thinks I’m a paedophile.
Continue ReadingI took my son’s goldfish …
I took my son’s goldfish to the vet today but it died just before we got there. I knew I should have put some air holes in the cardboard box.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Hitler and Prince Phillip? Hitler’s dead.
Continue ReadingThe cinema. Where you can …
The cinema. Where you can legally watch a movie as long as you are willing to sit through continuous messages warning you not to illegally download movies and to instead support your local cinema.
Continue ReadingYou know how they tell yo …
You know how they tell you to turn off all electronic devices for take-off? Well apparently the plane itself shouldn’t be turned off. My piloting career ended before it even started.
Continue ReadingMy wife is like a stuck r …
My wife is like a stuck record. A quick whack and she soon changes her tune.
Continue ReadingYou’ve got to feel sorry …
You’ve got to feel sorry for the remaining Philpott children, they must miss the ones that have gone. They’re embers of the same family afterall.
Continue ReadingPeople say you shouldn’t …
People say you shouldn’t joke about 9/11 because of all the people who died. Well, if any of the 3,000 affected want to complain they’re welcome to.
Continue ReadingJust think – the old home …
Just think – the old homeless guy who sits outside my local station doesn’t know what it’s like to have a full tummy on Christmas Day. But he will do this Friday, thanks to me – I’m gonna go down there and tell him.
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