I was just telling my nei …
I was just telling my neighbour that it’s my little boys birthday and I’m tired from blowing things up all morning. “Haha balloons.” She laughed. “No mosques.” I replied.
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I’ve just had to buy a ne …
I’ve just had to buy a new knife. The old one wasn’t cutting it.
Continue ReadingUniversal truth: You can’ …
Universal truth: You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
Continue ReadingMy mate died after inhali …
My mate died after inhaling too much helium at a party last night. It wasn’t all bad though, his last words sounded hilarious.
Continue ReadingMy mate showed me the str …
My mate showed me the strangest coin earlier, it was smooth on Both sides I couldn’t make head nor tail of it.
Continue ReadingLittle Susie was highly d …
Little Susie was highly disappointed when she discovered the blue waffle that her dad gave her for breakfast wasn’t the confectionery delight she was hoping for…
Continue ReadingSo Britain’s most senior …
So Britain’s most senior black Police officer, Ali Dizaei, has been found guilty of corruption after stabbing himself twice in an attempt to frame someone he’d had a row with. He’s just a rascal, Dizaei rascal…
Continue ReadingI’m giving away my chimne …
I’m giving away my chimney for nothing on eBay. It’s on the house.
Continue ReadingI think Steve Jobs was as …
I think Steve Jobs was asking for it in truth. With the amazing GPS feature on the iphone 4, it wasn’t going to take the grim reaper much effort to find him.
Continue ReadingI’ve lost the plot, I kee …
I’ve lost the plot, I keep ripping out pages from my novel.
Continue ReadingMy wife has accused me of …
My wife has accused me of being addicted to petty theft. I currently have fifteen dogs, thirteen cats and seven lizards.
Continue ReadingI’m allergic to escaping …
I’m allergic to escaping prisons. I break out in a rash.
Continue ReadingI’ve just had my idea for …
I’ve just had my idea for a new public holiday rejected. What’s wrong with ‘alzheimer remembrance day’?
Continue ReadingHave you ever hit your el …
Have you ever hit your elbow, and found it even slightly funny?
Continue ReadingDon’t you just love it wh …
Don’t you just love it when you get a text off someone you don’t really speak to, you open it and it’s a joke that you posted on Sickipedia!
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