I like to disprove popula …
I like to disprove popular sayings. Which is why I’ve nicknamed my wife “stone”.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Kristian Digby just died? …
Kristian Digby just died? He was very old, considering he was at one time the biggest dog in the world.
Continue Reading3.14% of sailors are Pi R …
3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.
Continue ReadingI walked up to my blind n …
I walked up to my blind next door neighbour walking with his guard dog. I said, “Eh up Dave, their letting dogs in the pub now mate.” He said, “That’s nice, you can take your missus out for a drink now then.”
Continue ReadingMy wife said “I might go …
My wife said “I might go back to college to get a maths GCSE, what do you reckon?” I said “Don’t count on it”.
Continue ReadingMy wife was mocking me ca …
My wife was mocking me calling me stupid today. If she thinks I’m going to marry her now she’s got another thing coming.
Continue ReadingI once tried to boil merc …
I once tried to boil mercury in my kettle. It completely destroyed the element.
Continue ReadingFat people, its not their …
Fat people, its not their fault. They just have slow metabolisms. And very fast, chip eating hands.
Continue ReadingI reached across the tabl …
I reached across the table to get some cakes when my mother said: “That’s rude, have you not got a tongue?” I replied: “Yes, but my arm is longer.”
Continue ReadingI bought some cooking app …
I bought some cooking apples today. Total waste of money. They just sat on the kitchen side doing nothing, while I did all the cooking.
Continue ReadingVery.co.uk: More gifts th …
Very.co.uk: More gifts than ‘you know who’. Not surprising, Voldemort doesn’t seem the Christmas type.
Continue ReadingI found out my best mate …
I found out my best mate and I have been seeing each others girlfriends. Its fair to say we were exchanging blows.
Continue ReadingMy sick dog brings all th …
My sick dog brings all the bait I need to go fishing with. He’s a worm carrier.
Continue Readingtop tip don’t waste money …
top tip don’t waste money buying viz comic just log on to sickipedia.org the day after it’s published and read all the jokes for free
Continue ReadingI noticed a mouse popping …
I noticed a mouse popping it’s head out of a hole from a skirting board in my bedroom , so I rang the Enviromental health Agency. The bloke arrived shortly afterwards I and we stood in my bedroom and waited for the mouse to appear , suddenly a Fish stuck its head out of the […]
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