A Scottish man was in the zoo, and saw a large, hairy animal. “What’s that?” he asked the zookeeper. “A Canadian moose”, the zookeeper replied. “A Canadian moose? They must have rats like rhinos over there!”
Continue ReadingNuts are so pricey these days. They cost an almond a leg.
Continue ReadingShe was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast when he walked in. She turned and said, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.” His eyes lit up and he thought, “This is my lucky day.” Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his […]
Continue ReadingI was in Sunderland the other day and went to a quiet back street restaurant that served lovely sushi at a tenth of the price that they do in London. I asked them how they could afford to sell it so cheap and the manager said that prices would rise back to normal as soon […]
Continue ReadingAbout to pay a deposit on a well-earned holiday in the Romanian capital. I’m going to Bucharest.
Continue ReadingSickipedia stand-up night. Isn’t that gonna make it uncomfortable for everyone to reach their keyboards?
Continue ReadingMy flatmate borrowed my thesaurus without asking. I’ll be having serious words later.
Continue ReadingMy escapology skills know no bounds.
Continue ReadingA squad of over 20 Republic of Ireland Players are expected in Dublin airport today, to welcome home the Irish supporters.
Continue ReadingI bought a cordless keyboard on ebay. It only lets you play one note at a time.
Continue ReadingThe company Booker has bought Makro today for 139 million…. plus VAT.
Continue ReadingI watched a fisherman in a boxing match, he only threw hooks.
Continue ReadingI saw a sign today saying “CCTV in operation.” I hope it’s nothing serious.
Continue ReadingMy wife miscarried last night. I kept telling her; back straight, knees bent.
Continue ReadingWe live in strange times. Kids run wild and dogs go to obedience school…
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