They say ‘a picture paint …
They say ‘a picture paints 1000 words’. Apparently the exam board disagrees with this statement where 5000-word essays are concerned.
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Quasimodo comes home from …
Quasimodo comes home from work and see’s Esmeralda has got the wok out. So he says “Oh, are we having chinese tonight?” To which she replies “No, I’ve just been ironing your shirts”
Continue ReadingWhat’s purple and falls o …
What’s purple and falls out of trees? A monkey’s miscarriage.
Continue ReadingJust sold my flat the oth …
Just sold my flat the other day for a really good price and it couldn’t have happened at a better time! Because my landlord is now taking me to court.
Continue ReadingIt’s not that I didn’t kn …
It’s not that I didn’t know how to use that website. I just couldn’t give a FAQ.
Continue ReadingBreaking news: Gospel mus …
Breaking news: Gospel music group, The Priests are supposedly taking longer than expected in the studio finishing of an EP featuring covers of several MGMT songs. The problem seems to be that they keep tampering with ‘Kids’
Continue ReadingMy mate won a fortune on …
My mate won a fortune on the lottery – spent the entire lot in a year at the local fish and chip shop, just frittered it away..
Continue ReadingJeff Stelling is to leave …
Jeff Stelling is to leave as host of Countdown after 3 years. This has presented the producers with a bit of a drumconun.
Continue ReadingWhat did the number 0 say …
What did the number 0 say to the number 8? Wow, nice belt
Continue ReadingCan I play in the sandbox …
Can I play in the sandbox, Mummy? Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy.
Continue ReadingScientists have developed …
Scientists have developed an Insect that devours muslim temples. The Mosque eater.
Continue ReadingWhat’s eight inches long …
What’s eight inches long and makes my wife come? My thumb and middle finger when I click them.
Continue ReadingSo, there’s been a lot of …
So, there’s been a lot of controversy surrounding clothing chains promoting the latest in pre-teen underwear fashion lately. That’s why it’s gonna take a pretty brave company to help market my latest super-tight swimming trunks aimed at 10-year-old boys. I’ll call them “Peedos”.
Continue ReadingA man was complaining to …
A man was complaining to a friend, “I had it all – money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman… then, poof! It was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the friend. “My wife found out…”
Continue ReadingFacebook gives Sickipedia …
Facebook gives Sickipedia a pasting in a popularity poll. A copy and pasting.
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