I did a one-man show last …
I did a one-man show last week and it was a huge success. One man showed up.
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Sorry Judge, but I misund …
Sorry Judge, but I misunderstood when facebook told me to fertilise my daughters crops.
Continue ReadingAs I looked down at my fa …
As I looked down at my father in his casket, I wondered if he was happy at the time of his death. It was hard to tell, though. Stiff upper lip.
Continue ReadingMy wife was killed in col …
My wife was killed in cold blood. When a black pudding truck rolled over on her.
Continue ReadingMy girlfirend asked me wh …
My girlfirend asked me which side of the rowing boat I wanted to sit. Either Or?
Continue ReadingThey reckon Oxygen’s goin …
They reckon Oxygen’s going to be the next big thing. I just can’t see it myself.
Continue ReadingBritish justice has, sinc …
British justice has, since 1903, held the views of ‘the man on the Clapham Omnibus’ as the personification of public opinion. Australia have adopted their own phrase ‘the man on the Bondi tram’ and many other countries have local sayings that follow suit. Today, in Britain, the woman on the tram was remanded into custody […]
Continue ReadingDon’t you hate it when yo …
Don’t you hate it when you’re driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick your cigarette out the window, and you drive for a couple more miles, and you smell something funny, and you look over into the back seat, and sure enough………… Grandma’s fingering herself again!
Continue ReadingI went to draw some cash …
I went to draw some cash at the ATM this afternoon. Seems like I take my art craving too far these days.
Continue ReadingJust walked past a French …
Just walked past a French flag flying proudly high. Since when did it have red and blue stripes on it?
Continue ReadingA little bit of domestic …
A little bit of domestic abuse never hurt anyone… Well…no one that mattered anyway.
Continue ReadingYou know its a joke on he …
You know its a joke on here when it starts with ”I was talking to a girl….”.
Continue ReadingBe wary of Santas bearing …
Be wary of Santas bearing three knees…
Continue ReadingEveryone at my work mocks …
Everyone at my work mocks me for being a nerd, but tomorrow I’m going to bring a lump of coal in and show them what I’m really made of.
Continue ReadingLittle Susie is on her gr …
Little Susie is on her grandparents’ farm for the first time. One evening, she sees her grandma plucking a chicken. “Grandma,” she asks, “do you undress the chickens every night?”
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