I was a whisker away from …
I was a whisker away from winning ‘Beard of the Year’ recently.
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So 8 Strathclyde Police o …
So 8 Strathclyde Police officers have listed their religion as Jedi. Let the force jokes begin.
Continue ReadingI thought BMW drivers did …
I thought BMW drivers didn’t indicate because they were arrogant – It turns out that indicators are just another optional extra though.
Continue ReadingI can’t wait for Apple to …
I can’t wait for Apple to release the new gizmo for luring kids, the iCandy.
Continue ReadingI have a blackberry and a …
I have a blackberry and an apple, both on orange. Amazing fruit balancing skills don’t you think?
Continue ReadingOne day two carrots were …
One day two carrots were walking down the street. They were the best of friends. Just as they started to step off the curb a car came speeding around the corner and ran one of them over. The unhurt carrot called an ambulance and helped his friend as best he could. He was taken to […]
Continue ReadingI got a joke from Orange …
I got a joke from Orange Plus on my phone today. “What’s a pirates favourite subject? Arrrrrrt!” They seriously need to get on to this website.
Continue ReadingJust bought a cookie from …
Just bought a cookie from a coffee shop today. It Costa fortune
Continue ReadingI always used to be much …
I always used to be much better at FIFA than my son and beat him every day. Now he’s improved immensely, and we’re more equal when we play. I still beat him every day though. It’s just that the beatings are much more severe if he dares win at FIFA.
Continue Readingmy friend got bit my a mo …
my friend got bit my a mosquito.. it was malariaous
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend came into t …
My girlfriend came into the living room and asked, “Has somebody been clipping their toenails into the bath?” “You mean apart from me?”
Continue ReadingThe Pope’s joined twitter …
The Pope’s joined twitter! I hope he uses the right font
Continue ReadingWhy do ducks have webbed …
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Continue ReadingThe best part of Christma …
The best part of Christmas is de-boning the turkey, right after I’ve seasoned it with my special sauce.
Continue Reading12 female soldiers have g …
12 female soldiers have got pregnant in Afghanistan. It’s a scandal our troops don’t have the proper protection.
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