Last night, I decided to …
Last night, I decided to do my party trick where I would remove the tablecloth while leaving all the dishes on the table. No one thought I could do it, but sure enough, I pulled it off!
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I’ve just taken a trip do …
I’ve just taken a trip down memory lane. Bad idea. I’m now off my head on acid in a street I don’t know.
Continue ReadingThe postman handed me a l …
The postman handed me a letter this morning and said “I’ve spent twenty minutes trying to find your house, just so I could give you this letter!” I said, “you should have just posted it.”
Continue ReadingI was telling my mate abo …
I was telling my mate about this photo website me and my girlfriend were looking at the other night. He said to me “Flickr?” I said yeh for a while… but about this website.
Continue ReadingI’m an Apple Mac and Wind …
I’m an Apple Mac and Windows 7 was my idea.
Continue ReadingYouth olympics. Giving pa …
Youth olympics. Giving paedophiles a social meeting place since 2010.
Continue ReadingI had the idea of a new p …
I had the idea of a new public transport system in which people sit in a carriage pulled by horse while being played live music. Now everyone’s jumping on the bandwagon.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been told about …
I’ve just been told about a weighted ‘coin-toss’ scam going around. Just giving you all a heads-up.
Continue ReadingI just saved myself a for …
I just saved myself a fortune in postage by filling my car up with petrol and delivering the letter myself.
Continue ReadingI quit my job as a deep s …
I quit my job as a deep sea diver today. I just couldn’t take the pressure.
Continue ReadingMy wife said to me, “I ca …
My wife said to me, “I can’t stand being around an immature little man anymore. Put yourself in my shoes.” I said,”No thanks, I’m not your size.”
Continue ReadingI just asked the missus i …
I just asked the missus if she fancied an early night. She said, “I doubt you will get in. My database latency is too high!” I’ve not heard that excuse before.
Continue Reading‘im suffering a mole prob …
‘im suffering a mole problem, he gives out confidential information to other gardeners’
Continue ReadingI just brought myself a f …
I just brought myself a feel good CD. Still feels like plastic though.
Continue ReadingJK Rowling has responded …
JK Rowling has responded to complaints that her books don’t feature any realistic ethnic minority characters by writing a new one: Harry Potter And The Half Caste Pimp
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