We’ve got flash floods in …
We’ve got flash floods in my area today. I’ve already found myself a Rolex in a puddle.
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I recently saw this girl …
I recently saw this girl while I was out one day, Our eyes kept meeting but neither of us had the courage to talk to each other. Eventually I went over to break the ice. Thats when I was asked to leave the ice rink.
Continue ReadingMy mate bought me a dicti …
My mate bought me a dictionary because I didn’t understand Irony. Yet when I went to look for the definition, it wasn’t there.
Continue ReadingFacebook Group: ‘Watch yo …
Facebook Group: ‘Watch your children on the internet’ Needless to say after clicking it, I was disappointed .
Continue ReadingI was eating some peanuts …
I was eating some peanuts earlier. That Sally Brown and Lucy van Pelt love having their fannies licked out.
Continue ReadingHi, I am part of the A.H. …
Hi, I am part of the A.H.S. Except we call it the Abbreviation Hating Society.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend said she’s …
My girlfriend said she’s leaving me because whenever we talk I use vocabulary she doesn’t understand and I’m very sarcastic. I said, “I’m not sarcastic, I’m facetious.”
Continue ReadingThe wife asked me to rent …
The wife asked me to rent a black comedy while I was in the video shop. Not quite sure how I had got the ‘wrong end of the stick’ by turning up with ‘The Best of Kenan and Kel’
Continue ReadingWise old saying: Girls wh …
Wise old saying: Girls who use their heads can stop the population explosion.
Continue ReadingI always test psychics wi …
I always test psychics with a knock knock joke. If they say “Who’s there?” I get up and leave.
Continue ReadingI asked my doctor why I h …
I asked my doctor why I had a permanent erection. He said, “It’s hard to say.”
Continue ReadingThou shalt not covet thy …
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wifi.
Continue ReadingI really thympathize with …
I really thympathize with people who have lisps.
Continue ReadingDid you know that 50% of …
Did you know that 50% of people with Split Personality Disorder are just normal people?
Continue ReadingI said to girlfriend, “Ev …
I said to girlfriend, “Everybody thinks I’m too sarcastic.” She said, “What makes you say that?” I said, “My mouth.”
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