Facebook chat has become …
Facebook chat has become so slow now Ive started sending my messages through the royal mail.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Scientists have discovere …
Scientists have discovered a noise just before the big bang. It sounds something like: “Oops!”
Continue ReadingLiking your own posts on …
Liking your own posts on facebook is like smelling your own farts, Everyone does it, but you shouldn’t do it in public
Continue ReadingThe owner of a golf cours …
The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Oxford and I need some help. If I were to give you 20,000, minus 14%, how much would […]
Continue ReadingI picked up the board gam …
I picked up the board game Trivial Pursuit in a shop yesterday. As I put 1000 down on the counter, the cashier looked at me and said, “Sorry sir, but this money is only for Monopoly.” “Oh right,” I said, putting it back onto the shelf, “Do you have Monopoly in stock?”
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS: “It took police …
BBC NEWS: “It took police marksmen 4 bullets to kill the dog, flowers have been left outside the house” Aren’t they forgetting the woman that dog killed?
Continue ReadingMy wife drove me to drink …
My wife drove me to drink… well a lift to the pub anyway.
Continue ReadingMy 5yr old son was expell …
My 5yr old son was expelled from school for race crime……he used blu tac on his egg and spoon.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s really found he …
My wife’s really found her feet with this new Weight Watchers’ diet.
Continue ReadingI have just seen an endan …
I have just seen an endangered large bird fly into a house and kill itself…….Stupid Bustard!
Continue ReadingGastric bands lose the co …
Gastric bands lose the country millions of pounds a year.
Continue ReadingJust ate a Chinese, total …
Just ate a Chinese, totally worth the prison sentence.
Continue ReadingI was upset when my wife …
I was upset when my wife told me I was too pedestrian about life. So I went for a waik.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend was very im …
My girlfriend was very impressed when i managed to get her bra off with one hand. “Could you try it on me next time” she said.
Continue ReadingWhen one person commits a …
When one person commits an atrocity, it is considered a crime and is met with punishment. When millions of people commit atrocities, it is considered a culture and is met with tolerance
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