“We make a strange pear” …
“We make a strange pear” Said the schizophrenic fruit.
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John Milton wrote the boo …
John Milton wrote the book: Paradise lost. Then his wife died… And he wrote the book: Paradise regained.
Continue ReadingI want my gravestone to s …
I want my gravestone to say “I tried it at home…”
Continue ReadingAristotle: “What does it …
Aristotle: “What does it mean to be a good person?” Descartes: “What does it mean to be?” Nietzsche: “What does it mean?” Bertrand Russel: “What does ‘it’ mean?” C.S Lewis: “What does it?” Lil John: “What?”
Continue ReadingI’ve just got off the pho …
I’ve just got off the phone with the doctor, they say I have Multiple Sclerosis… But he won’t tell me how many.
Continue ReadingI’ve been writing short s …
I’ve been writing short stories for years but recently decided to work on a full length book. Its a novel approach.
Continue ReadingI think my Grandad’s gett …
I think my Grandad’s getting a little senile. Just the other day, he gazed upon the sea and remarked: “When I were a lad, all this were fields”.
Continue ReadingI phoned my work this mor …
I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.” He said, “You have a wee cough?” I said, “Really? Cheers boss, see you next week!”
Continue ReadingMy new job as a taxidermi …
My new job as a taxidermist is pretty boring. All I do is sit around and stuff.
Continue ReadingI’m currently reading ‘My …
I’m currently reading ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton. Which freaked me out because I didn’t think he knew anything about my life.
Continue Reading“Because you’re so predic …
“Because you’re so predictable,” I said. “How come you always seem to know what I’m going to say?”. she asked
Continue ReadingSarcasm: When life gives …
Sarcasm: When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into life’s eyes, while smiling.
Continue ReadingI get so turned on watchi …
I get so turned on watching my wife make cheese on toast. I love a bit of girl on grill action.
Continue ReadingMATHEMATICS — HIGHER TIE …
MATHEMATICS — HIGHER TIER — 2011 Q1) Sindeepa throws 4 unbiased coins and records the results. Calculate the probability we have used this name because we’re scared of being racist.
Continue ReadingBBC: DR Congo boat sinkin …
BBC: DR Congo boat sinking kills 140 Serves him right for having a floating surgery if you ask me…
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