I hate my iPhone always a …
I hate my iPhone always auto correcting my swear words…piece of shut.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Just got fired from work …
Just got fired from work today, Apparently me and my boss have very different perceptions of the term: “Show me what you’re made of”.
Continue ReadingI considering learning ho …
I considering learning how to sprint. Then I realised, it would never help me in the long run.
Continue ReadingMoths fly towards lights …
Moths fly towards lights because they confuse them with the moon. But why do they want to fly to the moon anyway? Idiots.
Continue ReadingPeople keep asking why th …
People keep asking why the top floor of my house overhangs the bottom. Don’t bother, it’s a long storey.
Continue ReadingI tried to get on the Lon …
I tried to get on the London Eye today but it was not working – it was on the blink.
Continue ReadingLidl Under Fire For Selli …
Lidl Under Fire For Selling Reindeer Steak Aldi quietly remove their elf chops and Santa sausage from the shelves
Continue ReadingThought i saw an insect t …
Thought i saw an insect that only comes out in the 5th month of the year, wasn’t sure though. May Bee, May Bee not.
Continue ReadingWhat have school teachers …
What have school teachers and paedophiles got in common? It’s not very cool to admit it, but all kids try hard to be their favourite.
Continue ReadingCash4Gold just sent me 35 …
Cash4Gold just sent me 350 for a lump of iron pyrite. Fools.
Continue ReadingDon’t get married! Just b …
Don’t get married! Just buy someone you don’t like a house and let it be.
Continue ReadingI went into KFC and asked …
I went into KFC and asked for something cheap. “You’re slightly overweight” said the man behind the counter
Continue ReadingToday I told my boss if h …
Today I told my boss if he didn’t give me a pay rise I was going to strike. He started, “I’m sorry but in the current economic crisis we simply cannot…” Then I struck him.
Continue ReadingDid anyone see the Cat on …
Did anyone see the Cat on the pitch at Anfield? It was only on for three minutes and went past more people than Stewart Downing has all season.
Continue ReadingMy shampoo would last twi …
My shampoo would last twice as long if I didn’t keep using it on my shoulders…
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