My missus waxed her legs …
My missus waxed her legs yesterday. I must admit they look great now – it took me ages to sand them down.
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The “Incognito mode” in y …
The “Incognito mode” in your browser. Chrome’s domination of the pedo-demographics has begun.
Continue ReadingAbstract erotic art… .. …
Abstract erotic art… …It’s the shape of things to come.
Continue ReadingSeasoning fish…. there’ …
Seasoning fish…. there’s a thyme and a plaice for that.
Continue ReadingMy bird thinks she’s a fa …
My bird thinks she’s a famous Thespian, because her minge is always being used in gynaecology training videos. I think she’s ovary acting.
Continue ReadingI’ve been asked to do a j …
I’ve been asked to do a job for the local mobster, no questions asked. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out what, where or when it is.
Continue ReadingI was shocked to hear abo …
I was shocked to hear about Gazza being in a car crash Probably Israels fault, they shouldn’t have put a blockade up
Continue ReadingIf you laid all the polit …
If you laid all the politicians head to foot around the world, most would drown, some would get run over and a few woiuld get eaten by lions. Makes you think, doesn’t it.
Continue ReadingI went to see a Jewish ma …
I went to see a Jewish magician last night. He pulled a Rabbi out of a hat.
Continue Reading“Sometimes I feel like th …
“Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air.” I actually tried this action. It was only after I cut off my hands that I realised I could no longer throw them.
Continue ReadingI’ve come up with a talen …
I’ve come up with a talent show idea where you have to impersonate one of the Monty Python team. I’m calling it ‘Eric Idol’.
Continue ReadingI was walking with my Hus …
I was walking with my Husky this morning when we were approached by a strange looking fellow. “That dog would make me a lovely coat!” He evilly laughed whilst rubbing his hands together. “I doubt it mate” I replied, “he’s never even used a sewing machine.”
Continue ReadingI dropped acid today. Nev …
I dropped acid today. Never again will I attempt Chemistry with wet hands.
Continue ReadingThieves broke into the Br …
Thieves broke into the Bradford police headquarters car park in the early hours of this morning and stole the sat-nav units from all the squad cars. Officers are searching for Leeds.
Continue ReadingDon’t worry, Summer will …
Don’t worry, Summer will soon be here, I think it will fall on a Wednesday this year.
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