My neighbour was painting …
My neighbour was painting images of the sun all over his fences today. . . Solar panels as he calls ’em.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I bought a new chest free …
I bought a new chest freezer today. My nipples are now constantly erect
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend said I was …
My girlfriend said I was overly sensitive. I nearly cried.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between a fish and a mountain goat? One mucks about in fountains…
Continue ReadingIt’s well worth rememberi …
It’s well worth remembering that while the saying goes “The pen is mightier than the sword” strictly speaking this is only true if said pen is from the ‘Q’ range.
Continue ReadingMy band is after breaking …
My band is after breaking up and it’s all my fault… I stretched the elastic too far.
Continue ReadingI asked a rioter if the a …
I asked a rioter if the army should help. `No tanks,’ replied a Jamaican.
Continue ReadingI invented a time machine …
I invented a time machine… With hindsight.
Continue ReadingMy mate went missing at s …
My mate went missing at sea two days ago. They don’t know where he is. So, if you do – answers on a coastguard please.
Continue ReadingI just read the story abo …
I just read the story about the Chinese executing an indian man by lethal injection. It got me thinking….. I really fancy a takeaway tonight.
Continue ReadingI’ve started going out wi …
I’ve started going out with this girl who has the most wonderful accent. It’s a 52-plate, but it’s in perfect condition.
Continue ReadingMy wife said, “You’re liv …
My wife said, “You’re living in the past” I said, “That’s not what you said yesterday”
Continue ReadingMy time as a Police Offic …
My time as a Police Officer was a disaster. I must be the only Policeman to get cautioned for wasting Police time.
Continue ReadingMy wife told me to “make …
My wife told me to “make her feel like a million dollars” So I cut her up into small rectangles and neatly stacked her into a briefcase.
Continue ReadingEnergizer Bunny Arrested! …
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
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