I went to a church confessional to seek forgiveness for my sins. “Father,” I said. “I’ve recently kidnapped hundreds of girls all with the same Christian name.” The priest mused for a moment and said, “Hmm. Do you think you can put a stop to this by yourself?” “Certainly Father,” I replied. “I have every […]
Continue ReadingLike most sickipedians, I have to refresh approximately 27 times to finally see some jokes.
Continue ReadingIt’ll take me literally a million years before I gain a sound understanding of English vocabulary.
Continue ReadingI said, “Looks like rain out”. My wife said, “What makes you say that?” I said, “It’s raining”.
Continue ReadingWhat happened to the girl covered in barcodes? Everybody kept checking her out.
Continue ReadingJeremy Kyle show calender on sale,with special date’s, Six potential Father’s day, And underage Mothersday.
Continue ReadingMy friend and I met a girl in a club last night. We asked her if she was up for a spit roast. She was very keen on the idea. Right up until we tried to stuff an apple in her mouth.
Continue ReadingI tease about drugs a lot, but in reality I take them seriously.
Continue ReadingMy mum won the Irish Lottery. Now she owes them 6 million quid.
Continue ReadingMy mate must have more money than he lets on. Only last week he put petrol in his car and tonight he reckons he put the heating on for a bit ‘cos he was ‘feeling the cold’!
Continue ReadingWINDOW CLEANERS. When agreeing a price with Dr Who to clean the windows of the Tardis, don’t be conned into agreeing to do the insides for the same price.
Continue ReadingMy white friend called his black fitness instructor a slave driver the other day! Is it just me or does anyone else see the irony here?
Continue ReadingIn a recent accident at work I lost my foot. As result, I now stand at an angle. I would sue, but I’m not that way inclined..
Continue ReadingI’ve started tipping in restaurants There’s nowhere else to take my rubbish.
Continue ReadingWhy has no one invented bubble wrap where the bubbles are filled with helium so that your packages are lighter and thus cheaper to post?
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