I stole a police helicopt …
I stole a police helicopter this morning. Landed me in prison.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was stood in the bookie …
I was stood in the bookies watching a race when my mate appeared at my side and said, ” I’ve got prostate cancer.” I said, ” That’s a shame, I think it fell at the first.”
Continue ReadingAs the bad guy ran away, …
As the bad guy ran away, I took out my Colt, levelled it, took careful aim and squeezed. ‘Neigh!’
Continue ReadingJust seen an ipod game ca …
Just seen an ipod game called ‘Surviving High School’. I was well disappointed to find out it wasn’t a first-person-shooter.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a self – …
What do you call a self – centred Indian? An “attention Sikh-er”
Continue ReadingHas anyone else realized …
Has anyone else realized that when you run into a spiderweb you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Continue Readingim supporting race for li …
im supporting race for life this year. by standing at the starting line with a machine gun
Continue ReadingWalking my dog this morni …
Walking my dog this morning. My dog does a number two in the street, I walk past it as if nothings happened. “Oi!” A man shouted “You got to pick that up and put it in a bag. It’s filthy that is.” Poor thing almost suffocated.
Continue ReadingFacebook was forced to ta …
Facebook was forced to take its chat system offline this week for security reasons. With all that poking you’re bound to catch a virus.
Continue ReadingI saw a Greenpeace poster …
I saw a Greenpeace poster today simply with a stunning picture and a caption: ‘Killer Whale’… I’ve no problem helping out charity but I’m not buying a harpoon out of my own money.
Continue ReadingDoes anyone else find it …
Does anyone else find it ironic that phonetic isn’t spelt phonetically?
Continue ReadingRoyal Mail workers vote i …
Royal Mail workers vote in favour of holding a national strike, I say we all write a letter in to complain.
Continue ReadingI keep losing my focus at …
I keep losing my focus at work lately. My secretary has to keep reminding me where I parked.
Continue ReadingI was having the best sta …
I was having the best stag party ever. Until they shot Bambi’s mother.
Continue ReadingIt’s been a really busy t …
It’s been a really busy this week, I’ve been reading about and experimenting with recreational drugs from A to Z. Finally, I’m up to Speed.
Continue Reading