I’m reading a book on hel …
I’m reading a book on helium at the moment. I’m having trouble putting it down.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My secretary just entered …
My secretary just entered my office and said: ‘We got a letter again from our office in the Sahara. They’re writing that they have a very serious water shortage’ ‘Well’, I said, ‘there’s always a water shortage there – it can’t be that urgent’ ‘I think it’s urgent this time’, my secretary said, ‘the stamp […]
Continue ReadingI really like the word ‘f …
I really like the word ‘frequently,’ I try and use it as often as I can.
Continue ReadingWindows. Such a pane. …
Windows. Such a pane.
Continue ReadingI really hate my job at t …
I really hate my job at the french cheese factory, I camembert it anymore.
Continue ReadingI shot someone with a sta …
I shot someone with a starting gun. I’ve been charged with race crimes
Continue ReadingMy Dad was diagnosed with …
My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer last month but all my Facebook friends changed their status’ for an hour and now he’s going to live a long and fruitful life
Continue ReadingI’ve just killed a girl a …
I’ve just killed a girl and then dumped her body in the sea just off the west coast of Norfolk. I reckon that will come out in the wash…
Continue Reading‘Drunk, I’m home from the …
‘Drunk, I’m home from the honey, I’m not pub.’
Continue ReadingI’m sick and tired of sup …
I’m sick and tired of supporting England year in, year out. These higher rate taxes are killing me.
Continue ReadingWhen homeless people danc …
When homeless people dance at raves, do they do big fish, little fish, two bed semi ?
Continue ReadingMy boss came into my offi …
My boss came into my office today and saw me looking at a picture of a destroyed aircraft on the internet He said “Explain” I replied “Yeah it is, did the wings give it away?”
Continue ReadingI hate it when people pos …
I hate it when people post messages like, “This has been the worst day ever. I feel so lonely at the moment. I wish I was dead”. Now I don’t even open letters from my Gran. They go straight in the bin.
Continue ReadingI just walked into a pub …
I just walked into a pub on my lunch break and I saw a sign saying ‘We do sandwiches for just 2.95 Ask Our Bar Staff!’ I thought to myself, “No it’s okay, I believe you.”
Continue ReadingThe poster at Subway said …
The poster at Subway said ”Eat Fresh” so i did, i went elsewhere.
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