BBC Headline: ‘New Riches …
BBC Headline: ‘New Richest Man – Carlos Slim overtakes Bill Gates in world rich list’ Facebook – ‘Friend request pending’
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I tried to teach my grand …
I tried to teach my grandmother to suck eggs… Which is why I’m banned from the fertility clinic.
Continue Reading“I’m going on safari in A …
“I’m going on safari in Africa.” “Kenya?” “Course I can. What’s to stop me?”
Continue ReadingPolice are using thermal …
Police are using thermal imaging cameras to search for raves in Kent. I guess it’s pretty hard to see 34 strobe lights, hear a 20k sound system and smell half of Morocco burning.
Continue ReadingHow would you buy one of …
How would you buy one of those things that divides peoples’ food at the checkouts?
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to take up m …
I’ve decided to take up my new roll as a toilet attendant.
Continue ReadingI’ve just found out, that …
I’ve just found out, that if you visit a Doctor’s wife with a bag of apples. You won’t get disturbed.
Continue Reading‘BBC News – Ancient Brito …
‘BBC News – Ancient Britons ‘Drank from skulls’ … That’s nothing new, haven’t they been to the north after chucking out time?’
Continue ReadingSometimes I ask my barber …
Sometimes I ask my barber to stand on a ladder while he does my hair. It’s a cut above the rest
Continue Reading“Tiger Woods Wife Not All …
“Tiger Woods Wife Not Allowed in Ambulance” But the black man was? Something needs to change.
Continue ReadingCrimewatch – Get more vie …
Crimewatch – Get more viewers and make your reconstructions less harrowing by simply putting them on fast forward and have Benny Hill music playing in the background.
Continue ReadingI’m sick and tired of peo …
I’m sick and tired of people saying that Americans are all fat and unhealthy. They’re just mall nourished.
Continue ReadingWhen I have a kid, I’m go …
When I have a kid, I’m going to buy one of those prams for twins. Then put the kid in it, and run around looking frantic.
Continue ReadingA lot of the people I wen …
A lot of the people I went to high school with are getting married and having kids. A lot of the people I went to high school with are idiots.
Continue ReadingInfant ‘was buried withou …
Infant ‘was buried without brain’, inquest hears. That happened to Jade Goody too.
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